Hello everyone. I've just joined this group after being away from the OAC for a couple of years due to what I am about to talk about. Just recently, 12 weeks ago, my father passed away 4 days after his 70th birthday. He was terminally ill with various illness' including but not limited to Pulmonary Fibrosis. Dad was given a maximum of 5 years to live just under 10 years ago. He fought his conditions bravely and with composure when there were people around who were not close family. Dad had faith in God, and I have no doubt that faith kept him going when times were difficult, and he was a retired minister of religion.

I am at peace with what has occurred. I have seen death throughout my life, dad was a funeral director during my younger years and early teens. I have seen more dead bodies than I would ever want anyone to see but my thoughts are revolving around different aspects of death and how it affects different people.

Dad died at home and was cared for at home throughout his illness. He did have quite a few trips this year to the local base hospital's palliative care unit were they would help my mum, and my sister and I, to look after dad and bring his health to a stage where we could bring him home again. I saw the nurses and doctors treat and help people and clean up the room after the people had passed away on many occasions in this last year.

I guess what I am trying to say, rather badly, is that death involves quite a few people. The doctors, nurses, family, government etc, and probably many others who I don't know about. But in the end 2 groups go through the pain and emotional roller coaster, the person who dies and the close family who are left behind. Society, in my experience, goes on as though nothing happened yet for those whoa re left behind there is this big gaping hole. Why is the western world like this? what do other societies do and how do people outside of family react in these societies. I know in Indigenous Australian societies the name of the deceased is not spoken, pictures and not shown etc, but this has left me wondering how other societies I do not know about deal with this.

In closing, now I have waffled on, I will just say that since my fathers death my family and I have been left alone. When dad was a minister, even a funeral director, he visited the family for a while after the event. Maybe my upbringing was out of the ordinary in a country like Australia and because of this I am interested to know how other cultures deal with this.

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